Unsolicited Parenting Advice- A Smother Mother Confession

So I have a confession.

Are you ready?

I secretly want to shove a whole banana in the mouth of anyone who offers their unsolicited parenting advice.

There, I said it.

I know, it sounds mean. But I’m just being honest.

There’s something about parenting that leads to an exponential increase in people sharing their thoughts and/or advice. It happens from the moment you show a visible bump. Multiple times a day, well-meaning friends, strangers, family, other moms, and even dads all have opinions on everything to do with parenting.

I’ve been told that my marriage will suffer because my baby sleeps with us. I’ve been judged for breastfeeding into toddlerhood. I’ve had dirty looks in Target. I’ve had dirty looks in restaurants. I’ve been told which way my carseat should be facing. I’ve had people tell me my baby is too hot, too cold, over-stimulated, bored, too big, too small, too loved. (WHAT?!)


Since becoming a parent, most of the crappy, unsolicited parenting advice I’ve received, has been from other parents. And quite frankly, from a mother to another mother, we should really know better.

Children are so individual. In fact, any parent of two or more can probably vouch for that. The amazing sleep technique that might’ve worked for baby #1 was a complete disaster for baby #2.


So why do we do it? Why do we think that we have the right to judge another’s parenting style and offer advice that is UNSOLICITED? This whole parenting thing is hard enough. None of us have a clue what we’re doing. As mothers, we all bring a variety of skills and experiences to the table. And we should respect one another’s parenting style.

Listen: Don’t compare yourself to other mothers. We’re all losing our shit. Some just hide it better than others.

This should ring true for all of us.

So the next time you even think about telling another mother or parent what they SHOULD be doing, just stop and STFU. I know you think you are doing us clueless mamas a favor, but you’re not. In fact, I’ll probably run home to my spouse and cry for days, about how I am failing at motherhood. 

If you’ve got something to say, make it about how freaking adorable my kid is. 😉

Thank you in advance,

A tired mama

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Author: Smother Mother Kate

Katelyn isn't a regular mom. She's a cool mom and creator of The Smother Mother.

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