My precious two year old boy,
Tomorrow you will start Toddler School and no longer be home with mommy full-time.
Before I begin, let me start by saying I’m doing this for you.
I know your days leading up to this moment have been filled with lots of cuddles and one-on-one time, more peanut butter and jellies I thought I’d ever imagine making, and so much Mickey Mouse that I swore to myself you would never watch at this age.
As a work from home mom, I have loved having you home with me every second of the day. The moment we decided to hire a nanny to keep you home with me while I worked, was one of the best days of my life.
Although it has been one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever made, it’s been equally rewarding.
Society’s idea of a work from home mother is a joke.
If you google “work from home mom,” you’ll see a woman at the computer with her baby sitting in her lap, calmly smiling while the mother “works.” This couldn’t be further from the truth.
I have spent many phone conferences on mute, scared that my coworkers and clients would hear your high pitched screams that you make when your favorite show comes on. (Which they totally did, way too many times.)
Most of my “lunch breaks” have been me putting you down to nap and skipping food altogether because I wanted those extra cuddles.
I’ve had numerous breakdowns to your dad about keeping the nanny under a certain amount of hours each week so that I didn’t completely wipe out my bank account. (Hiring a Nanny is uber-expensive, son!)
But even through all the anxiety and extra worry, I’ve been so very blessed to have you home with me everyday. If I could, I would just be a stay at home mom and focus all of my attention on you, but I work because I want to give you MORE than that.
Tomorrow you will start toddler “school” and it will be hard. Hard for you, but even harder for me.
I am confident that once you start to make friends and get to know your teacher, you will have way more fun than you did being stuck at home in front of a TV while I finished my last work assignment for the day.
Guilt has weighed on my shoulders for way too long. As great as it has been having you home with the nanny and me, I know that little brain of yours is ready to learn new things and meet other little humans your age.
You are going to do great things and I am always, ALWAYS going to be right here. I will be your biggest fan for the rest of your life.
Everything I do, I do for you.