Edit: When I first wrote this article, I was bombarded with angry moms and dads from all over the world. People went as far as to call me a pedophile and told me that if I circumcised my son, I was sexually assaulting him and should be locked up in jail. (What’s interesting is that I don’t even express my decision to circumcise or not in this article.)
The threats got worse and worse and I ended up closing down my facebook for a month because of all of the backlash and cyberbullying.
So before you read this blog, read this: My intentions are not to persuade you, either way, to circumcise your child or not. I am simply asking parents to stop judging others for what they choose to do.
We’re on the same team here, guys.
If you want to persuade me either way or give me your unsolicited advice, lashing out and accusing me of gruesome accusations is not the way to do it.
Be kind. Offer a study or a link to a reputable source with more information but don’t attack me.
I recently came across a post in one of the mommy groups I follow on Facebook. The conversation was about circumcisions and ear piercings.
Circumcisions and ear piercings can be a sensitive subject if you’re a new mom. Say the wrong answer to the wrong person and you’ll get serious side eye and scrutiny.
Here’s what the original poster said:
“Circumcisions and ear piercings only became a problem after opinionated moms got a hold of social media.
Before Facebook, you didn’t see Susan from the supermarket asking if your newborn baby was circumcised or not. Nope, because Susan from the supermarket back in 1996 didn’t care what you did with your child. Because it was none of her business. Susan just told you how cute he was and asked how your delivery went.
So why has this changed?”
It really got me thinking.. why is it such a big deal now?
We’re living in 2018 where we (mostly) have more freedom than ever before. Women can speak out about sexual harassment in the workplace and not fear for their life but have a controversial conversation about parenting and you’re dead meat.
New moms can’t say a damn thing about parenting without someone else telling them they’re doing it wrong.
I always talk about these mommy groups I follow on facebook and how cynical and mean some of these women can be. These groups are supposed to be a support system for new moms but I am seeing more and more cyberbullying than ever before.
A prime example is the circumcision conversation. After a new mom posted something about getting her son circumcised the comments went wild and the cyberbullying was in full force.
“Genital mutilation on boys and girls is wrong, no matter how you defend it. You are fools if you think cutting babies is right. Goddamn fools.”
“Many people agree that circumcision is abuse because it is obviously painful. And that’s a permanent thing that the child can never undo or make a decision for himself.”
“No permanent alteration should ever be made to anyone by any person, including the parents. Leave the choice to the individual. This applies to piercings and circumcision. Children are individuals – not property.”
This post had over 68,728 shares and almost 1,000 comments. And you can guess it, 75% of these comments were nasty, dehumanizing responses.
Bullying needs to stop.
Cyberbullying needs to stop.
Mom-shaming needs to stop.
Why can’t we all be a little more kind to one another and supportive? As moms and dads, we should all have each other’s backs when it comes to raising our little humans. If you don’t like the idea of circumcision, don’t circumcise your son. Don’t like ear piercing? Don’t get your child’s ears pierced.
In 2018, as a parent, I dare you to keep your rude and unkind comments to yourself. If a friend or family member is parenting differently than you, accept it and move on. Unless someone is abusing or neglecting their kids, we should all keep our eyes and opinions on our side of the fence.
Parenting is already hard enough and having people tell you that you’re doing it wrong is just hurtful and uncalled for.
Be the change in parenting shaming.
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
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