Motherhood: You don’t get it until you do it.
So here’s the thing. Before I became a mother, I had dreams.
Dreams of a perfectly fed child. Dreams of no screen-time until they were 7. Bedtimes at reasonable hours. No dessert until after dinner, and heaven forbid; I would NEVER purchase a toy that had been screamed for, for an ungrateful whiner.
I told you, these were dreams people.
The reality of it, is that when you become a mother, you do whatever the heck you can, to keep your little tiny human happy. (and quiet-HA!)
I’ll buy that 22 grams of sugar Slurpie to keep my child from screaming his lungs out while I fiddle through the sales rack at Target. I’ll also grab him all kinds of toys off the shelf to play with and then stick them in random places all over the store once he adverts his attention to something else. –SORRY TARGET EMPLOYEES OF AMERICA!
And for all you mama’s rolling your eyes and judging me, let me ask you this. Have you ever fought a very strong-willed toddler? It’s not fun. It takes you back to middle school when you were bullied by the meanest, biggest bully in your grade. That’s how I feel sometimes.. Like I’m living with a 2-foot bully.
No Shame in This Mama’s Game
As bad as these confessions sound, I honestly have no shame in my game. I’m doing the best I can here ok?!
So it’s time to confess my motherly sins.
If you think you dropped the ball on your kids this week, you’re not alone.
11 things I Did That Made Me a Sucky Mom:
1. I let my son play with the butter knife at Chilis because I wasn’t in the mood for screaming. (Public tantrums embarrass the crap out of me.)
2. I let him carry around a dirty diaper because I didn’t feel like fighting him for it.
3. When my husband got home, I ran to the bathroom because “nature was calling” but that was really a lie. In fact, I didn’t even go near the toilet I just locked myself inside, so I could sit behind a closed door.
4. My 2-year-old can now open my iPhone, navigate to the videos, and swipe up text messages if they disturb his show. *Cringe*
5. I let my son eat chocolate ice-cream before bed last night to keep us from having a meltdown.
6. I encouraged screen-time at brunch so me and my husband could enjoy our $50 meal in silence.
7. Bedtime was a joke this weekend. I let him go to bed at 11’oclock three nights in a row because I didn’t have the energy to fight him.. And I secretly just wanted to lay in bed and watch ID Channel undisturbed.
8. I hid my candy on the top shelf of the pantry so I wouldn’t have to share.
9. I lied to my husband about my son needing a nap because I really wanted to go to the ice cream shop and I thought he could handle it without a sleep-deprived tantrum. He couldn’t by the way- see picture below.
10. I called the little girl who snatched a toy from my son at Sunday School, a little shit.
11. Dropped my son’s PB&J in the middle of an aisle in a busy old navy store and made him eat it anyway.
If you’re wondering why I haven’t ran away yet: I’ve thought about it.
But honestly, this part of motherhood is exhilarating and fun and if you don’t find the humor in all the little things that go wrong in your day you end up crying in the corner before breakfast is over!
What made you a sucky mom this week? Share in the comments below!
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